There are too many damn people on the road who shouldn't be allowed to drive. They shouldn't even be allowed to walk. They should have their legs hobbled with a sledgehammer, like James Caan in Misery, and then stuck in a wheelchair with no wheels. Just leave them there up on blocks, gagged, with their hands tied to the chair till they starve to death. Then they should be ground up into fertilizer and sold to the Chinese.
No, I'm not bitter.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Top Ten Good Things About Senator Edward Kennedy
As you are probably aware (unless you happen to be living in a cave with intermittent internet access), the Mary Jo Kopenchne Memorial Brain Tumor has done it's job. To celebrate, here's a list of the top ten good things about Senator Edward Kennedy.
10. He's Dead.
9. He's Dead.
8. He's Dead.
7. He's Dead.
6. He's Dead.
5. He's Dead.
4. He's Dead.
3. He's Dead.
2. He's Dead.
1. He's Dead.
Note - for the record, I'm not one who would normally dance on the grave of one of my political enemies. I find it utterly distasteful, even when I vehemently disagree with them (i.e. Senator Paul Wellstone). However, I make an exception in the case of Teddy (as I will in the case of former klansman Robert Byrd) because of the truly vile actions that he took in his private life. The fact that he could let a woman drown in his car without making any attempt to help her, or even notifying the authorities (who could have easily rescued her) just to cover his own political ass, and could then serve behind a Senator's desk in Washington D.C. instead of behind bars in a Massachusetts prison cell, says more about him and the voters of Massachusetts than I ever could.
He's serving a new state now. A dry state, and a VERY warm one at that.
10. He's Dead.
9. He's Dead.
8. He's Dead.
7. He's Dead.
6. He's Dead.
5. He's Dead.
4. He's Dead.
3. He's Dead.
2. He's Dead.
1. He's Dead.
Note - for the record, I'm not one who would normally dance on the grave of one of my political enemies. I find it utterly distasteful, even when I vehemently disagree with them (i.e. Senator Paul Wellstone). However, I make an exception in the case of Teddy (as I will in the case of former klansman Robert Byrd) because of the truly vile actions that he took in his private life. The fact that he could let a woman drown in his car without making any attempt to help her, or even notifying the authorities (who could have easily rescued her) just to cover his own political ass, and could then serve behind a Senator's desk in Washington D.C. instead of behind bars in a Massachusetts prison cell, says more about him and the voters of Massachusetts than I ever could.
He's serving a new state now. A dry state, and a VERY warm one at that.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
NGD!
That means New Guitar Day for the uninitiated. Just got an Agile AL-2000 Bird TSB, which means Birdseye maple top with tobacco sunburst finish. Damn fine guitar. Very pretty, too.
An amazing guitar for only $209.95. Plays better than any Epiphone Les Paul I've ever tried. Closer to a Gibson really, but obviously not as good. Still, a screamin' deal for 10% of the price of the Gibson. A quick setup, some new pickups, and replace the wiring and it'll definitely be in the same ballpark. You gotta love Rondo Music and their Agiles.
An amazing guitar for only $209.95. Plays better than any Epiphone Les Paul I've ever tried. Closer to a Gibson really, but obviously not as good. Still, a screamin' deal for 10% of the price of the Gibson. A quick setup, some new pickups, and replace the wiring and it'll definitely be in the same ballpark. You gotta love Rondo Music and their Agiles.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Obama Forced To Rethink Administration Plans
Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
Courtesy The Onion News Network
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Time: The Rusty Shopping Cart That Always Pulls To The Left
Time magazine has an amazing article up about the causes of California’s fiscal problems. Amazing for the fact that it’s so stupid that only Time could have written it.
The article lays the blame for California’s problems at the feet of Proposition 13, the 1978 state ballot initiative that forced a limit on property taxes and required a two-thirds majority for any new taxes. Time seems to think that if Prop 13 wasn’t in effect, the state would be able to raise enough cash through new taxes to fix it’s current mess. The title of the article neatly sums up their position: “California’s Fiscal Crisis: The Legacy of Proposition 13”.
In actuality, it’s the legacy of a state legislature that can’t stop spending money with both hands. If Prop 13, which was passed in 1978, is to blame for this mess, then why did we have a budget surplus at the beginning of this decade? Wouldn’t we see a steady decline? The fact of the matter is that our problem lies with the fact that we keep electing spend-happy fools to the legislature. Time, true to form, thinks the citizens who want to keep a little of their hard earned money are the ones spoiling all the fun.
The article lays the blame for California’s problems at the feet of Proposition 13, the 1978 state ballot initiative that forced a limit on property taxes and required a two-thirds majority for any new taxes. Time seems to think that if Prop 13 wasn’t in effect, the state would be able to raise enough cash through new taxes to fix it’s current mess. The title of the article neatly sums up their position: “California’s Fiscal Crisis: The Legacy of Proposition 13”.
In actuality, it’s the legacy of a state legislature that can’t stop spending money with both hands. If Prop 13, which was passed in 1978, is to blame for this mess, then why did we have a budget surplus at the beginning of this decade? Wouldn’t we see a steady decline? The fact of the matter is that our problem lies with the fact that we keep electing spend-happy fools to the legislature. Time, true to form, thinks the citizens who want to keep a little of their hard earned money are the ones spoiling all the fun.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Onion News
Maybe the late night talk show hosts can't think of anything funny to say about Obama, but it seems The Onion still knows how to find the humor in the situation.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Government Motors
Now that it looks like our glorious government, led by Il Duce himself, will be getting into the automotive industry, here's a look at what we can expect in the future, courtesy of the mildly insane genius Iowahawk.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Lights In Sky Prompt Flood Of Calls In Md., Va., N.C.
BALTIMORE -- The National Weather Service said Monday there is no evidence of any naturally occurring phenomenon to explain bright lights in the eastern sky that prompted hundreds of calls to the service and emergency officials.
Callers from Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina described brilliant, streaking lights followed by an explosion-like sound at about 9:45 p.m. Sunday.
One 11 News viewer in Carroll County e-mailed to say she "spotted a large fireball in the western sky. It started out being about star brightness, then increasingly got brighter and greener. As it got green, it had an orange sparkling tail...We saw it go almost all the way to the ground before losing sight of it in the trees."
Nasa experts, who were contacted about the incident, have indicated that this may in fact merely be the Obama administration crashing and burning yet again. "You can expect to see a lot more of this over the next four years."
Callers from Maryland, Virginia and North Carolina described brilliant, streaking lights followed by an explosion-like sound at about 9:45 p.m. Sunday.
One 11 News viewer in Carroll County e-mailed to say she "spotted a large fireball in the western sky. It started out being about star brightness, then increasingly got brighter and greener. As it got green, it had an orange sparkling tail...We saw it go almost all the way to the ground before losing sight of it in the trees."
Nasa experts, who were contacted about the incident, have indicated that this may in fact merely be the Obama administration crashing and burning yet again. "You can expect to see a lot more of this over the next four years."
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Frak Earth Hour
Hey, I have an idea! Let's draw attention to the threat of global warming (as if there's anyone on Earth who hasn’t heard about it extensively yet) by performing a meaningless, ritualistic nonsense act that essentially turns it’s back on the last 10,000 hard fought years of civilizational advancement in the most luddite manner possible.
Or, better yet, howsabout I turn on ALL my lights and appliances during Earth Hour in defiant protest, not of your unscientific man-made global warming BS, but of your pernicious general stupidity.
In fact, I propose a new environmental celebration. I call it Earth Minute. It’s where all you environmentalists around the world take a minute of your time to kiss my black ass.
And I’m not even black.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
It Was Fifty Years Ago Today...
The day the music died. Supposedly. Not for me, though. The Beatles may have gotten me into music, but it was Buddy Holly that made me pick up a guitar, even though he died over a decade before I was even born. I always thought that was a little weird, but it's amazing just how many guitarists have said the same thing, even today. I've met teenagers, recently, who said they were inspired to play, even if only partly, by Buddy Holly.
So I guess the music didn't really die. Just the man.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Global Warming Update
More evidence that Global Warming™ is just a scam to get our money and turn us into obedient little subjects. You’d think that with all the mounting evidence that GW is a farce, that there’d be some sort of backlash against it.
Oh, that’s right, there is. You just have to look somewhere other than the Obamedia to hear about it.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
The Revolution Will NOT Be Televised (But It Will Be All Over The Interwebs)
OK. So I’ve finished my designated period of mourning (11/16/08-1/21/09), and now I’m back. To quote our beloved poet laureate LL Cool J “Dont call it a comeback, I been here for years, Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear.” Now it’s time to get down to the business of being the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench, the sand in the Vaseline. Or whatever.
I was in Barnes and Noble the other day, loitering, as is my wont, and it just seemed like everywhere I turned, there was yet another book about how wonderful and magically delicious our new fearless leader is. Actually that’s not exactly true. Everywhere I turned, there were DOZENS of books about it. With all the media bleating about Obama, and all the celebutards cooing over him and making stupid videos letting him know that they awaiting his orders, it just kinda got to me. For a brief moment, I had the overwhelming urge to burn the store to the ground. I didn’t, obviously. I went outside and got some air. Then I went back in and turned all the books about him over so that the covers couldn’t be seen. Childish I know, but laughing about how childish it was made me feel better.
Why is all this bothering me so much? I don’t really have anything against Obama. I know that turning all the books about him cover down is just as pointless and stupid as when the leftards did it to pro-Bush books. It doesn’t accomplish anything, and considering the target, is a good way to get labeled as a racist, even though race has nothing to do with how I feel.
So what is it that’s got me in this mood?
I think it’s because all the mindless oohing and ahhing, all the talk about how everything is going to change, how there’s a real feeling of hope for the first time, reminds me too much of the way third world countries react when a new strongman takes power. Now, I’m not saying Obama is a third world strongman. At best he’s a hack politician, no better or worse than any other hack politician we’ve elected to office over the past 200+ years. It’s just that in the third world countries, the citizens are publically jumping up and down with excitement because they don’t want to have their hands cut off and their families tortured. The Ozombies writing all the books and making a big deal about it on TV actually seem to believe what they’re saying.
Eventually, all the excitement will end. Obama will turn out to be just another hack politician like all the others. The Ozombies will be disappointed when the world doesn’t change and they have to keep working a job they hate to pay the rent. The third worlders will be disappointed when, in spite of their best efforts, their hands get cut off and their families get tortured. And it will be delicious to watch. The lefty disappointment, I mean, not the hand cutting or torture. Jesus what kind of person do you think I am?
So, I guess what I’m saying is, I’m back, and I’m going to be posting again on a regular basis (or at least trying to. It’s hard when you’re lazy). And, in spite of all of this, here’s to Obama. I hope his Presidency is a success. I also hope to win the lottery. I ‘m just pretty realistic about the odds of both.
I was in Barnes and Noble the other day, loitering, as is my wont, and it just seemed like everywhere I turned, there was yet another book about how wonderful and magically delicious our new fearless leader is. Actually that’s not exactly true. Everywhere I turned, there were DOZENS of books about it. With all the media bleating about Obama, and all the celebutards cooing over him and making stupid videos letting him know that they awaiting his orders, it just kinda got to me. For a brief moment, I had the overwhelming urge to burn the store to the ground. I didn’t, obviously. I went outside and got some air. Then I went back in and turned all the books about him over so that the covers couldn’t be seen. Childish I know, but laughing about how childish it was made me feel better.
Why is all this bothering me so much? I don’t really have anything against Obama. I know that turning all the books about him cover down is just as pointless and stupid as when the leftards did it to pro-Bush books. It doesn’t accomplish anything, and considering the target, is a good way to get labeled as a racist, even though race has nothing to do with how I feel.
So what is it that’s got me in this mood?
I think it’s because all the mindless oohing and ahhing, all the talk about how everything is going to change, how there’s a real feeling of hope for the first time, reminds me too much of the way third world countries react when a new strongman takes power. Now, I’m not saying Obama is a third world strongman. At best he’s a hack politician, no better or worse than any other hack politician we’ve elected to office over the past 200+ years. It’s just that in the third world countries, the citizens are publically jumping up and down with excitement because they don’t want to have their hands cut off and their families tortured. The Ozombies writing all the books and making a big deal about it on TV actually seem to believe what they’re saying.
Eventually, all the excitement will end. Obama will turn out to be just another hack politician like all the others. The Ozombies will be disappointed when the world doesn’t change and they have to keep working a job they hate to pay the rent. The third worlders will be disappointed when, in spite of their best efforts, their hands get cut off and their families get tortured. And it will be delicious to watch. The lefty disappointment, I mean, not the hand cutting or torture. Jesus what kind of person do you think I am?
So, I guess what I’m saying is, I’m back, and I’m going to be posting again on a regular basis (or at least trying to. It’s hard when you’re lazy). And, in spite of all of this, here’s to Obama. I hope his Presidency is a success. I also hope to win the lottery. I ‘m just pretty realistic about the odds of both.
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