Study: The Dangers Of Cell Phone Use

People who use mobile phones could be risking their likeability, warn researchers. A new study shows a worrying link between poor manners and the number of hours a day that a person uses their mobile phone. Those who made calls on a mobile phone for more than four hours a day had the worst attitude and the poorest quality manners, according to results released yesterday at the American Society for Behavioral Medicine annual meeting in New Orleans. Doctors believe the damage could be caused by the electromagnetic radiation emitted by handsets or the heat they generate, but the most likely explanation is that “people who talk on their cell phones all the time are just obnoxious pains in the ass.“

Pelosi: "My Family Is Very Pro-Life"

House Living Dead Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Homorabia) today attempted to deflect Republican criticisms that she is an ultra-left wing liberal by pointing out how pro-life her family is. “My daughters especially are pro-life”, said Pelosi while gnawing on a human femur. “Why, just last week my daughter Alexandria, who was named after the Library of Alexandria that was burnt to the ground by evil Republicans in the seventh century, demonstrated this by begging and pleading for her life while I tried to consume her tasty young flesh. How much more pro-life can you get?”

It’s Official! Part 2!

From the New York Daily News, Hillary Clinton IS getting uglier. Ah-DUUHHH-uhhhHH!

It's Official!

Today on Hannity and Commie, noted pollster Dick Morris stated that “demographically, the Republican Base is the most educated, articulate group in the country. That’s not blowing smoke, that’s a demographic fact.” Hoo-Ahhh! Sing it, brother!

Triva Question

Q.: How many Koskid Moonbats does it take to change a lightbulb?



A.: None, they'd rather just sit around and blame Bush for the darkness.

A Tale Of Two Memorials

This is how you do it….

The Pentagon today unveiled its United States Air Force Memorial near Arlington Nation Cemetery. The memorial, which is meant to evoke the image of three jet contrails pulling away from each other, commemorates the sacrifices of Air Force personnel in protecting the nation’s liberty. The Air Force was the only branch of the U.S. military that did not have its own memorial.

This is how you don’t…

The Arizona Memorial Commission recently unveiled it's September 11th Memorial in Arizona’s Wesley Bolin Plaza. The memorial, which is designed to evoke an Islamic crescent, commemorates the narcissism and self-absorption of the left-wing Arizona Arts Commission, with such inscriptions as “Remembrance Garden Planted in Window”, “Arizona Interfaith Movement Promotes Understanding and Respect”, “Scottsdale Students Founded Cultural Understanding Organization”, “Foreign Born Americans Afraid”, “Must Bomb Back”, and “You Don’t Win Battles of Terrorism with More Battles.” The Arizona Art’s Commission was one of the only branches of the Moonbat-Left that had not created its own memorial.

Trivia Question

Q. How many North Koreans does it take to change a lightbulb?



A. Change the lightbulb? How can you even tell it needs changing if there's no electricity?

Dems: Bring Out Your Dead

In an effort to ensure their victory in the upcoming November elections, the Democrats are relying heavily on one of their key constituencies: the recently dead. No other demographic group has voted so reliably Democrat, and their help will be desperately needed to counter the top notch GOP voter turnout machine that was put in place after the 2000 election fiasco. However, the Dems have found that there is a serious downside to their efforts, as their three other major constituencies, namely, the mentally retarded, illegal immigrants looking for amnesty, and the currently incarcerated, tend to be the ones who are most vulnerable to the wave of anarchy and cannibalism that accompanies the arrival of election day.In an effort to step down the violence, while at the same time maintaining the proper levels of turnout, the Dems have instituted a policy of using snipers at polling places, who will be responsible for putting down the dead constituents, but only AFTER they’ve had a chance to vote. Democratic leaders feel that this is the best way to guarantee the success of their goal to “take back control of the government, regardless of the cost in lives and treasure to the country as a whole.”Local civic groups are skeptical that the Dems can maintain order at the polls, even with the snipers in place. “Their efforts in this area have been less than successful in the past”, stated one city official, who insisted on anonymity. “Why, in 2004, my recently dead mother managed to kill or infect most of my extended family before casting her vote for John Kerry.”

Karl Rove Attempts To Influence Election

A small plane crashed into a high-rise residential building in New York City today, causing speculation amongst Democrats that it was part of a Rovian plot to throw the elections. "This will just remind people of 9/11 and terrorism," said one Democratic spokesperson. "It'll make for a perfect opportunity for the Republicans to make us look like a bunch of traitors. How can we fight against that?!"

Mexico May Take Fence Dispute to U.N.

The Mexican government has stated that it may seek help from the U.N. in the dispute with the U.S. over its plans to build a 700 foot long fence along the U.S.-Mexican border. A Mexican representative has told reporters that an investigation is underway to determine if Mexico has any legal standing against the construction of the fence, which will be built entirely on U.S. soil.
In an unrelated story, Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin-Laden has announced plans to seek redress with the U.N. over the design of the new Freedom Tower the U.S. plans to build on the site of the former World Trade Center, stating that the unique glass design of the building would make it more difficult to see, and thus more difficult for a pilot to hit with an average sized commercial airliner.

Bombing In Iraq

There was a bombing today in a bakery in Baghdad, killing at least 11 people. Although it remains unconfirmed, sources indicate that this may have been the work of the Breadmaster, who, along with his side-kick, Buttery Pat, is known for his relentless attacks against bakeries and food stores throughout The City.

So The Danish Cartoon Thing Never Happened?

Iranian President Immadinthehead today stated that the Danish cartoons released last year that depicted the insane, pedophilic pseudo-prophet Mohammad (Pork Be Upon Him) as being an insane, pedophilic pseudo-prophet (with a bomb), are an abomination, and as bad as the Holocaust. Except that I also remember him stating that the Holocaust never happened. So does that mean that the Holocaust really did happen? Or just that the cartoons don’t actually exist? Or maybe he’s just mad in the head?

North Korea Puts "Nuke Me" Sign On It's Back

North Korea conducted what may or may not be a nuclear weapons test this weekend. The real question is which is funnier: the fact that it may have been faked (or at least unsuccessful), or the fact that lil' Kim was surprised that he didn't receive congratulations from world leaders for the test. Sort of like how a child might be surprised that his parents aren't happy that he found their handgun and figured out how to use it on his little sister. The solution to all this is simple, though: Explain to the Chinese (who are the Norks puppet masters, after all), that if they don’t reign in their little buddies on the peninsula and make them give up their nuke aspirations, we will have no choice but to provide nukes to Japan. THAT will get the Chicoms attention. Japan with nukes scares China about as much as Germany with nukes scared the Russians during the cold war, and for much the same reasons.

A Picture Is Worth A Dozen Teeth

A local wacko turned activist demonstrates how NOT to make a protest sign. Little known fact: the other side of the sign says “I’m With Stupid”. It was rejected as a slogan when it was realized just how redundant that was. Everyone there is with stupid.

Day Of National Resistance

Tomorrow, October 5th, is supposed to be a 'Day of National Resistance', or some such crap. Basically, a bunch of moonbats are going to be running through cities and towns near you, trying to start some spontaneous rebellion against the current administration. I plan to spend the 'Day of National Resistance' preparing for the REAL resistance; specifically, the Colonial resistance against the Cylons on New Caprica that begins on October 6th. So say we all!

Dems: What Did They Know, And When Did They Know It?

It looks like there’s a little more to this Mark Foley Scandal than meets the eye. There exists a record of emails and instant messages between Foley and at least two Pages going back as far as November of 2005. So why didn’t the Republican Leadership in congress do anything about it? Simple: they weren’t the ones with the info. ABC News and the Democrats have been sitting on this story for almost a year. Interesting that it just happens to come out NOW, during the last few weeks before an election, where Democrats were poised to take over the house, and possibly the senate, and have recently seen their lead slipping away. They had this information for almost a year, and they could have done something about it to protect these young boys from a predator. Instead, they chose to wait to reveal it at the most politically useful time, regardless of the consequences to the kids in question. Just when you think these people can’t go any lower, they grab a shovel and prove you wrong. Mark Foley may not have broken the law with what he’s done; after all, the age of consent in DC is 16, and both of these boys were at least that age. So he may avoid jail. Hell is another matter, though. And he’ll have company. There is a special place in Hell reserved for betrayers, and those who have betrayed these youths, and their responsibilities to them, will be joining him. Good riddance.

Car-B-Que 2

More rioting and mayhem from 'youths' in France, as a mob sets a police car on fire after a chase. Did we forget to mention that the 'youths' were Muslim? How could that have possibly slipped our minds? Religion of Peace my ass. In any case, do we really know for sure that these cars were actually intentionally set on fire? I mean, they are French cars, after all. How well made could they possibly be? They may well have just spontaneously combusted. Anyway, the French will battle the youths, and the youths will battle the French, and, hopefully, they’ll defeat each other.

Trivia Question

Q. Who is ultimately responsible for the slaughter of innocent Amish schoolchildren in Pennsylvania today?



A. The Jooooosssss!

The Mind Of A Lunatic

Okay, this one is a couple of weeks old, but it’s so insightful that I just had to post it for all of our imaginary readers to check out. It’s an analysis of why Arabs and Westerners think so differently, by a Westerner who lived among them for a year. Sort of a “Gorillas In The Mist”, only without Sigourney Weaver, and with crazier gorillas. After reading this myself, all I can say is let the bombs fall where they may…

Smeer The Queer

Representative Mark Foley (R-FL) has resigned over allegations of sexual misconduct via e-mail and text messaging with several underage male congressional pages. "The improper communications between Congressman Mark Foley and former House Congressional pages is unacceptable and abhorrent. It is an obscene breach of trust," Hastert, R-Ill., Majority Leader John Boehner, R-Ohio, and Majority Whip Roy Blunt, R-Mo., said in a written statement Saturday evening. "His immediate resignation must now be followed by the full weight of the criminal justice system." Foley is best known, ironically enough, for being on the Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus. It now appears that his whole purpose for being on the commission was to get tips on how best to pick up on young boys. Foley, when asked how he thought this incident would affect other Republicans in the up-coming November elections, replied, “Why the hell should I care? I only went Republican because the Democrat’s quota for creepy, middle-aged, child-molesting homos was already filled by Barney Frank.”