School's Out Forever!

A Madrassa (Muslim religious school) in Pakistan was destroyed today, killing 80 terrorist savages. Reports are still sketchy as to who exactly carried out the attack, with some saying it was Pakistani helicopters, others saying it was U.S. Predator drones, and everyone else claiming it was the Zionist-Pig-Dog-Infidel Jews, of course. Rumors are also flying that the target of the attacks was Zawahiri himself. There are even rumors that he was killed, but the usual 48 hour rule applies here. Personally, I hope it WASN’T our guys who did it. Why, you ask? Because of this sentence:
“Most of the compound was destroyed.
"Most? MOST?! What is this most crap? I’m an American. I pay my taxes. I get up every morning and haul my ass to work, day in, day out. I expect ALL of it to be destroyed, every last molecule. And then, after the explosions, when all the surrounding terrorscum are gathering around to seethe and bitch around the ruins about how the infidels have killed their loved and beloved pet goat, and dragging out their protest signs, conveniently printed in English for the American media, even though the only people within fifty miles of the place who can even read English are the al-Reuters reporters that have been embedded with the terrorists so as to get up to date Democrat talking points straight from Osama’s mouth, as well as to keep the terrorists properly felated, I want Muhammad al-Muhammadadmamisboombah, or whatever the hell his name is, to look up into the sky, and see the beautiful sight of a fuel/air bomb gently wafting down from the clouds on it’s delicate silk parachute. And I want that to be the last image he ever sees in this life, as this magnificent example of American ingenuity consumes and vaporizes all. Especially the al-Reuters people. And that burning, consuming flame should be a brief foretaste of the flames that burn, but don’t consume, that they will then experience for all eternity.
Or something like that.

Next Space Tourist To Launch In March

Space Ventures Ltd of Vienna, VA, has announced that it’s next space tourist will launch in March. The lucky tourist, Dennis Kucinich of Ohio, will be only the fifth customer launched into space by the company. Kucinich, who was selected from a group of applicants, expressed great excitement over his upcoming journey, stating “At long last I can escape this miserable prison of a planet and be amongst my people once again. It is a great day for me, a great day for my people, but it will be an even greater day for Earth, when I return at the head of a fleet of heavily armed Zebulonian warships. Conquest!”Although he will be helping with science experiments and some menial tasks during the eight-day trip, Kucinich said he will be spending a lot of time just hanging out, observing, taking pictures, looking out the window for the arriving mothership, and just generally plotting out the upcoming enslavement of the human race.

Trivia Question

Q.: Why did the French police officer cross the road?



A.: Because he was being chased by 60 Muslim 'youths' wielding crowbars and Molotov cocktails.

Yeah, That'll Work

The French government has assigned police to guard buses in immigrant (read: Muslim) neighborhoods around Paris. This is believed by the French to be a good method of curbing the escalating violence in these areas. OK, now for the follow up question: who’s going to guard the French police?

Foley Style Fiction

So, it looks like Jim Webb has some rather interesting skeletons in his closet. As a fiction author, his books have some seriously twisted sex scenes, involving strippers, the use of a vagina to slice a banana, and of course, that ultimate Homorabia crowd pleaser, older men performing oral sex on underage boys. How much do you want to bet that Mark Foley has ALL his books?Webb is fighting a tough race against George Allen (R-Macacarabia), and is behind in the polls. If he were running in a blue state this wouldn’t be a big deal; after all, he’s a Democrat, and things like this just prove he’s one of them. The only way he could alienate himself from the left would be to appear to be pro-America. The problem is, he’s not in a blue state, he’s in Virginia, which is traditionally a very conservative state.He’s done. Stick a fork in him.

Can It Be True?

Rumors are flying about our good friend Fidel again. The word is, he has untreatable stomach cancer, and may be near death. This, of course, assumes that he isn’t already dead. We’ve heard this kind of rumor before. In fact, the most recent round of this game was what inspired the creation of this particular blog (or, at least it’s name, anyway). The details around this rumor are different this time, however. It seems the Cuban government is ramping up for a big funeral, modeled after the funeral of Pope John Paul II, which they hope to have broadcast worldwide. As if Castro deserves such an honor. A more fitting funeral would involve wrapping him in saran wrap, and then dumping him out the back of a Jeep Cherokee while cruising down I-95 at 85 mph, drinking a tall cold one, and listening to an infinite loop tape of “Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead” performed by Ted Nugent with an all exile chorus.In any case, we will endeavor to keep our imaginary readers up to date on this glorious story.

French Buses Spontaneously Combust

Four French buses burst into flames yesterday in an apparent case of spontaneous automotive combustion, a phenomenon occurring more and more frequently in that part of Europe. Most experts agree that this is probably an example of poorly manufactured equipment malfunctioning explosively, and have called for an investigation of the companies involved, as well as the general elimination of capitalism, which is obviously to blame. Some extreme right-wing conspiracy theorists have pointed to the fact that these incidents tend to take place in predominately Muslim neighborhoods and often occur near large groups of Muslim ‘youths’ who just happen to be carrying Molotov Cocktails as evidence of this being an Muslim uprising. Clearly, this is impossible, as Islam is a Religion of Peace©, and its followers would never commit this sort of violent act.

The Chinese--Keeping their priorities in order

Sorry, haven't been posting recently, school, work all that stuff that catches one's attention every now and again. Here is a link to a video of Chi-Coms shooting unarmed Tibetans fleeing in the snow. Their Crime? Wanting to see the Dali Lama. Keeping the spirit of the Glorious worker's paradise humming, no doubt even as they suck money out of Capitalist trough.

Israeli warplanes in 'incident' with German ship

I don't know about you, but if I was Jewish, and I saw some armed Germans nearby, I might get a bit of an itchy trigger finger, too. The Germans need to calm down about this. They’re already up by 6 million. The Israelis have a LONG way to go before they catch up.

Do The Curtains Match The Drapes?

Democrats are so convinced that it’s curtains for the Republican majority in congress, that they’ve already begun working up their post victory governance plans. Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Homorabia) says that when she’s speaker she can “have any suite I want”, and has already mapped out her first hundred hours. Charlie Rangel (D-Arkham Asylum) is already booking speaking events about his upcoming tenure as chairman of Ways and Means.The President sees things a little differently. "The Democrats have made a lot of predictions. Matter of fact, I think they may be measuring the drapes," Bush said yesterday. "If their electoral predictions are as reliable as their economic predictions, Nov. 7th is going to be a good day for the Republicans." Personally, I agree with the President; it ain’t over till the fat lady sings, and, as scary as Nancy Pelosi is, she’s not very fat. Don’t expect to be doing too much singing on election night, Nancy. I’m predicting the Donks gain 12 in the House, and 3 in the Senate. It’ll narrow the Republican’s majority, but won’t be enough to hand it over to the Donks.
Of course, I could be wrong. Charlie Rangel says that if the Donks don’t take congress this cycle, he’s resigning. (Yeah, right, like that’ll ever happen.) I say, if the party of cut and run takes congress, I solemnly swear to stock up on as much ammo as I can for when the troops come home and the terrorists follow. Now THAT’S a promise you can bank on.

Homorabia Declared

In a stunning (or not) announcement, the New Jersey Supreme Court today decided that buggery is now legitimate grounds for marriage. Expect homosexuals from all over the country to flock to NJ like a Muslim to an IED. Hopefully they stay there. The real question is how this will affect the Democrats in the future. This is a ruling that will clearly be associated with them, and their newest and fastest growing constituency, namely, Islamic terrorists who want to behead us all, will not take kindly to this. They tend to condemn homosexuality (even as they practice it secretly), and we all know what happens to things condemned by Muslims. Think Highlander. In any event, the editorial staff here at Castro Burn in Hell stands by it’s belief that, when it comes to combinations in marriage, there can be only one: Man+Woman.

UPDATE:
OK, so this probably isn't worth an update, but it occurs to me that Tony Soprano may not take too kindly to this either.

But Brute Force May Be The Right Answer Anyway

This news article on Yahoo.com points out comments from US military officials that if forced to engage in a second war, we might have to rely on brute force, as most of our precision weapons and the systems meant to support them are tied down in Iraq. This would result in more collateral damage, and thus more civilian casualties.Is that such a bad thing?The biggest problem we have in Iraq right now may well be that while we promised ‘shock and awe’, we ended up delivering ‘aw shucks’. It may have seemed more civilized to limit the collateral damage as much as possible to stay on the good side of the local population, but it left the terrorists with the undeniable image of an ineffectual power that lacked the will to use its own weapons to their best advantage. A little more bloodshed early on may have prevented a lot more bloodshed now. But then, anyone who studies military history knows that’s a universal truth. In any event, bombing North Korea back to the stone age and then nuking the rubble may be just what the doctor ordered to make our enemies.(as well as some of our more worthless friends) fear us again. Yes, fear. Not love, fear. We’re the great power in the world today. Historically, the great power of the day is never popular with those around it. And yet we persist in this desire to make the world love us. It’s never going to happen, so we need to just get over it. The best we can hope for is for them to fear us. Maybe then, they’ll be less likely to attack us

What? You Say Hollywood Types Are Hypocrites?

I kinda like this article at TMZ.com about celeb actors who play the part of pious environmentalists, but then consume more fuel in ten hours than my 300ZX consumes in ten years. The fact of the matter is that I don’t fault them for their fuel usage. In fact I couldn’t care less about it. What bugs me is that while using up all these resources themselves, they have the gall to tell us to cut back on our comparatively meager usage. “Good enough for thee, but not for me” indeed.

Castro In Hell

“You know, for a blog dedicated to the proposition that Castro should burn in hell, you sure don’t talk about Castro very much.” That’s just one of the many reader’s complaints that we get here (or would get anyway, if we had any readers). Well, to be fair, ol’ fussy whiskers hasn’t really been in the news much lately, except in the form of speculation on whether or not he’s even still alive. You can rest assured, dear imaginary reader, that if it becomes known that the evil one has kicked the metaphorical bucket, we will quickly change orientation from laughing about the fact that he should burn in hell, to laughing at the fact that he IS burning in hell. In any event, to tide you over until that great day, I offer this Castro joke that I discovered on this site earlier today:

Castro In Hell
Fidel dies and goes to heaven. When he gets there, St. Peter tells him that he is not on the list and that no way, no how, does he belong in heaven. Fidel must go to hell. So Fidel goes to hell where Satan gives him a hearty welcome and tells him to make himself right at home. Then, Fidel notices that he accidentally left his luggage back in heaven and tells Satan, who says, "No hay problema. I'll send a couple of little devils to get your stuff." When the little devils get to heaven, they find the gates are locked - St. Peter is having lunch - and they start debating what to do. Finally, one comes up with the idea that they should climb over the wall and get the luggage. As they are climbing the wall, two little angels see them, and one angel says to the other, "My goodness! Fidel has been in hell no more than ten minutes and we're already getting refugees."

Study: The Dangers Of Cell Phone Use

People who use mobile phones could be risking their likeability, warn researchers. A new study shows a worrying link between poor manners and the number of hours a day that a person uses their mobile phone. Those who made calls on a mobile phone for more than four hours a day had the worst attitude and the poorest quality manners, according to results released yesterday at the American Society for Behavioral Medicine annual meeting in New Orleans. Doctors believe the damage could be caused by the electromagnetic radiation emitted by handsets or the heat they generate, but the most likely explanation is that “people who talk on their cell phones all the time are just obnoxious pains in the ass.“

Pelosi: "My Family Is Very Pro-Life"

House Living Dead Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Homorabia) today attempted to deflect Republican criticisms that she is an ultra-left wing liberal by pointing out how pro-life her family is. “My daughters especially are pro-life”, said Pelosi while gnawing on a human femur. “Why, just last week my daughter Alexandria, who was named after the Library of Alexandria that was burnt to the ground by evil Republicans in the seventh century, demonstrated this by begging and pleading for her life while I tried to consume her tasty young flesh. How much more pro-life can you get?”

It’s Official! Part 2!

From the New York Daily News, Hillary Clinton IS getting uglier. Ah-DUUHHH-uhhhHH!

It's Official!

Today on Hannity and Commie, noted pollster Dick Morris stated that “demographically, the Republican Base is the most educated, articulate group in the country. That’s not blowing smoke, that’s a demographic fact.” Hoo-Ahhh! Sing it, brother!

Triva Question

Q.: How many Koskid Moonbats does it take to change a lightbulb?



A.: None, they'd rather just sit around and blame Bush for the darkness.

A Tale Of Two Memorials

This is how you do it….

The Pentagon today unveiled its United States Air Force Memorial near Arlington Nation Cemetery. The memorial, which is meant to evoke the image of three jet contrails pulling away from each other, commemorates the sacrifices of Air Force personnel in protecting the nation’s liberty. The Air Force was the only branch of the U.S. military that did not have its own memorial.

This is how you don’t…

The Arizona Memorial Commission recently unveiled it's September 11th Memorial in Arizona’s Wesley Bolin Plaza. The memorial, which is designed to evoke an Islamic crescent, commemorates the narcissism and self-absorption of the left-wing Arizona Arts Commission, with such inscriptions as “Remembrance Garden Planted in Window”, “Arizona Interfaith Movement Promotes Understanding and Respect”, “Scottsdale Students Founded Cultural Understanding Organization”, “Foreign Born Americans Afraid”, “Must Bomb Back”, and “You Don’t Win Battles of Terrorism with More Battles.” The Arizona Art’s Commission was one of the only branches of the Moonbat-Left that had not created its own memorial.