Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The Revolution Will NOT Be Televised (But It Will Be All Over The Interwebs)

OK. So I’ve finished my designated period of mourning (11/16/08-1/21/09), and now I’m back. To quote our beloved poet laureate LL Cool J “Dont call it a comeback, I been here for years, Rockin my peers and puttin suckas in fear.” Now it’s time to get down to the business of being the fly in the ointment, the monkey in the wrench, the sand in the Vaseline. Or whatever.
I was in Barnes and Noble the other day, loitering, as is my wont, and it just seemed like everywhere I turned, there was yet another book about how wonderful and magically delicious our new fearless leader is. Actually that’s not exactly true. Everywhere I turned, there were DOZENS of books about it. With all the media bleating about Obama, and all the celebutards cooing over him and making stupid videos letting him know that they awaiting his orders, it just kinda got to me. For a brief moment, I had the overwhelming urge to burn the store to the ground. I didn’t, obviously. I went outside and got some air. Then I went back in and turned all the books about him over so that the covers couldn’t be seen. Childish I know, but laughing about how childish it was made me feel better.
Why is all this bothering me so much? I don’t really have anything against Obama. I know that turning all the books about him cover down is just as pointless and stupid as when the leftards did it to pro-Bush books. It doesn’t accomplish anything, and considering the target, is a good way to get labeled as a racist, even though race has nothing to do with how I feel.
So what is it that’s got me in this mood?
I think it’s because all the mindless oohing and ahhing, all the talk about how everything is going to change, how there’s a real feeling of hope for the first time, reminds me too much of the way third world countries react when a new strongman takes power. Now, I’m not saying Obama is a third world strongman. At best he’s a hack politician, no better or worse than any other hack politician we’ve elected to office over the past 200+ years. It’s just that in the third world countries, the citizens are publically jumping up and down with excitement because they don’t want to have their hands cut off and their families tortured. The Ozombies writing all the books and making a big deal about it on TV actually seem to believe what they’re saying.
Eventually, all the excitement will end. Obama will turn out to be just another hack politician like all the others. The Ozombies will be disappointed when the world doesn’t change and they have to keep working a job they hate to pay the rent. The third worlders will be disappointed when, in spite of their best efforts, their hands get cut off and their families get tortured. And it will be delicious to watch. The lefty disappointment, I mean, not the hand cutting or torture. Jesus what kind of person do you think I am?
So, I guess what I’m saying is, I’m back, and I’m going to be posting again on a regular basis (or at least trying to. It’s hard when you’re lazy). And, in spite of all of this, here’s to Obama. I hope his Presidency is a success. I also hope to win the lottery. I ‘m just pretty realistic about the odds of both.

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