Sunday, June 29, 2008

Saturday Night Randomness: Matthew Sweet

Copycat


Apparently, there's another Zodiac copycat on the loose, this time in North Carolina. The story is here. At the left is a scan of the letter sent to the local police. A couple of interesting notes: the Zodiac symbol was drawn by a left handed person, based on the starting point of the circle. The date at the top is in DD/MM/YYYY format, such as used in Europe and by the US Military. The fact that the writer used the MM/DD format in the body of the letter would tend to reinforce the military aspect, as a European most likely woundn't use that format. The @))* after June is what would result when you attempt to type 2008 on a typewriter with the caps lock key on. The date and time given in the body of the letter for when the body was discovered is after the date at the top of the letter, indicating that the above date was not the date that the letter was actually written. It may in fact be the date of the murder itself, as apparently the body had been in the hotel room for some time before it was discovered, and was in a fairly advanced state of decomposition.
The question is, is this person a Zodiac copycat, or just someone who commited a murder and wanted to detract attention from himself by making it look like it was done by some random wacko?

Friday, June 27, 2008

Thursday, June 26, 2008

You Understand? For Victory. Go Tell Your Friends.


Victory is ours, for the Supremes finally handed down a good decision today in the case of the District of Columbia vs. Heller, officially striking down the D.C. gun ban. I’m hoping this opens the door to other successful lawsuits against other stupid anti-gun laws, especially the “assault weapons” ban here in Commiefornia. In the meantime, it’s good to just savor this victory over the forces of evil.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Brace Yourselves

Tomorrow will be a very interesting day the Supreme Court will be handing down it’s ruling in the case of whether the District of Columbia’s handgun ban is constitutional or not. It will ultimately determine whether or not it the right to keep and bear arms is an individual right or a collective right. Never mind that there is no such thing as a collective right in the constitution. This case SHOULD be a slam dunk for the pro gun rights side, but with these justices, you never know.

Democrat Code Words

When Democrats say with respect to the current fuel crisis “You can’t drill your way out of this mess”, they aren’t saying “It’s impossible to solve the crisis by drilling for more oil.” What they’re actually saying is “We won’t LET you solve this by drilling.” Sort of how like when they say that cutting local taxes will result in less Police and Fire protection. It’s not a warning, it’s a threat.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

James Hansen, Still Spreading The Crazy

Environmentalist-Psycho and NASA Scientist (non-rocket science division) James Hansen is back in the news again, this time claiming that oil company executives should be put on trial for “high crimes against humanity and nature” for what he describes as actively spreading doubt about Global Warming™, despite the fact that they know that it’s really happening. Supposedly.
This is the same James Hansen who claimed that he was being censored and blocked from giving interviews about Global Warming™, even though he had given over 1400 interviews on the subject. He’s also the same James Hansen who had a Y2K bug in his temperature data that caused his climate model (which provides the output that drives many of NASA’s climate proclamations) to erroneously place several recent years as the hottest on record. It was also later discovered, after he was compelled to release the algorithm he used for his model, that it was designed to subtly influence the output to make it appear that temperatures were rising, when in fact they were declining slightly.
What the hell is going on with NASA? They used to be dedicated to the exploration of space. Now it seems like they’re just another government agency dedicated to keeping the looniest five percent of the population off the streets by employing them at the taxpayer’s expense. Why do I have to keep reading this man’s proclamations? He’s already been exposed as a fraud and a liar. What’s does one have to do to get fired from NASA? Attack an astronaut? Deny the holocaust? Drive from state to state in a beat up old VW bug picking up female hitchhikers and killing them Ted Bundy style? Apparently falsifying scientific data while working for a government science organization doesn’t count. Let’s see if using the power of a governmental position to silence the free speech rights of those who disagree with him will rise to the level.
I somehow doubt it.

George Carlin RIP

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Saturday Night Randomness: Science Ninja Team Gatchaman


Ninjas of Science, indeed.

Do-It-Yourself Obama Poster


Here's a neat little site where you can make your own Obama poster. Loads of fun for the whole family.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Score One For McCain

He may finally be heading in the right direction. Apparently, he wants to lift the federal ban on off-shore oil drilling in various coastal areas of the country. Of course, the environmentalists are enraged, but then, aren’t they always?

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Happening

Don’t.
Just don’t.
The first five minutes were cool, then it just fell apart.
It was completely stupid. This is coming from someone who puts The Sixth Sense and Signs on his list of greatest movies of all time.
If I want to be lectured to about the environment, I’ll just turn on Planet Green. Or the Discovery Channel. Or the History Channel. Or the Science Channel. For Free.
Don’t waste your time or your money. Go see The Incredible Hulk instead. It’s a MUCH better movie.

I can’t believe I wrote these many words about this piece of trash.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Saturday Night Randomness: The Jet Jaguar Theme Song

Spider monkey uses garden hose to flee Indiana zoo

Next thing you know, they’ll be using hoses to sneak into your kitchen to steal all of your banana. And cigarettes.

Lionel Richie Threatens Commodores Reunion

Lionel Richie today threatened to initiate a Commodores reunion unless his demands were met in full. No one actually asked what his demands were, but merely stood back and waited for the M.P.’s to take him away. “We take these threats seriously,” stated one of the arresting soldiers, who wished to remain anonymous. “If we let him make threats like this, eventually you’ll have the Bee Gee’s threatening to get back together. Before you know it, Barry Manilow will be touring again, and that’ll be the end of it.”
Richie is currently in military custody in St. John’s, Antigua awaiting transfer to Guantanamo Bay.

Like A Stake In The Heart

Ireland, the only remaining sane country left in Europe, has told the EU to stick their treaty up their blarney hole. Apparently, many in Ireland fear that the Union is remote, undemocratic and ever more inclined to strip its smaller members of the right to make their own laws and decide their own futures. I’m not sure where they would have gotten that idea. Maybe it’s because of the union’s tendency to behave in a way that is remote, undemocratic and ever more inclined to strip its smaller members of the right to make their own laws and decide their own futures. Anyway, good on you, brothers. I raise a pint of Guinness to you and to all the hot young Irish ladies, especially the red headed ones.

HULK SMASH!!!

Blog Poll

Right Wing News has a poll up of conservative bloggers on the election.

Friday, June 13, 2008

No Problem! This Is Not A Problem!

NASA announced today that a one and one half foot long clip used to hold insulation to the rudder’s speed brake has come loose from the shuttle Discovery, and that this is not a problem for the shuttle. "Orbiters have come back with those missing. It's just not a factor for entry," Mission Control told the shuttle crew. Discovery's crew had also reported seeing something sticking out from the left side of the shuttle's rudder. But Mission Control said it was probably just an optical illusion because of the rudder's angle and the lighting.
They’d better hope it’s an optical illusion, because if the shuttle’s rudder fails during re-entry or landing, NASA will have some ‘splaining to do. Especially to the crew’s next of kin.

Tim Russert RIP


Thursday, June 12, 2008

Officials fell trees inscribed by US soldiers who fought for France

Here’s a depressing little story about the destruction of some living history.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Frickin' SWEET!!!

Dodge Challenger Reborn
Dodge Challenger Reborn


I want one. In orange. And I HATE orange cars.

McCain Won’t Appear With Cheney

Can you really blame him? The last time Cheney appeared in public with a friend, the friend had to be hauled to the hospital to have buckshot removed from his face.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Famous Cipher Solved!


Almost forty years ago, Northern California was terrorized by a mysterious killer who called himself “The Zodiac.” Zodiac was responsible for at least five murders, and possibly as many as thirty seven, and has never been caught. He is most famous for taunting the local newspapers and police with cryptic and threatening letters, as well as enigmatic code-like ciphers, most of which have yet to be solved. However, after forty years, it seems the most famous of these ciphers, known as the 340-cypher, for it’s 340 evenly spaced characters, has finally been solved. Experts today have revealed that it was a substitution-transposition cipher, with 336 characters in the message with four nulls at the end to make the cipher evenly spaced. The decoded text reads as follows:


onlyafoolorafraud

talkstoughorroman

ticallyaboutwarwh

eniwasfiveyearsol

dmyfatherleftforw

armygrandfatherca

mehomefromwarandd

iedthenextdayiwas

shotdownovervietn

amandspentfiveyea

rsasapowsomeofthe

friendsIservedwit

hnevercamehomeiha

tewarandiknowhowt

erribleitscostsar

eimrunningforpres

identtokeepthecou

ntryilovesafeimjo

hnmccainandiappro

vethismessagefjdg


Experts are unsure of what to make of this message, and are working on deciphering it’s meaning. More on this story as it comes in.

Stuttering Stanley



My God, my God, how did this man even get the nomination? Take away the script and the teleprompter, and it’s like hearing from a special Olympics also-ran. Talk about not being able to string two sentences together, this guy can’t even string two clauses together to form ONE coherent sentence. He makes Bush look good by comparison, and I didn’t even think that was possible. No wonder he’s so reluctant to do the Town Hall thing. He’d spend the last forty five minutes of the debate going “St-st-st-ttttop laughing at me!” The only way this guy would have a snowball’s chance in hell of winning the Presidency is if the Republicans ran a complete boob against him.

Oh, that’s right. They are.

Emirates Airline to Launch First Service to US with A380

Emirates airlines said Monday it would launch nonstop service between Dubai and various US landmarks on August 1, a spokesperson for the airline said. “We’ve really stepped up services on these flights as well, offering prayer rugs, bomb making tables in the restrooms, direct Airphone access to several major training camps in Pakistan, and free box cutters for the kids. I myself cannot wait to see the Transamerica building up close. It’s going to be a blast.”

Save The Chickens

Lesser prairie chickens have been reduced to a fraction of their population across five states, says a conservation group that is ratcheting up the pressure on the federal government to provide more protection for the rare bird.
Dude, it’s a fucking chicken. Build a damn henhouse and start breeding them if you’re so worried. I bet they don’t even taste very good anyway. If they did, they be in the poultry section with a Foster Farms label on the side. That's probably why they're called LESSER Prairie Chickens.

Sun Goes Longer Than Normal Without Producing Sunspots

According to reports from scientists attending an international solar conference at Montana State University, the latest cycle of solar inactivity has gone on longer than in any previous cycle. Scientists are puzzled as to the cause, saying “solar physicists aren't like weather forecasters; They can't predict the future. They do have the ability to observe, however, and they have observed a longer-than-normal period of solar inactivity.” The emerging consensus, however, is that this is a result of man made Global Warming™, as that is where the real grant money is.

Ron Paul Plans His Own Convention

National laughingstock and Presidential hopeful Ron Paul is set to have his own mini-convention in Minneapolis just days before the Republican convention in St. Paul. Paul hopes that his convention will distract from that of the Republicans, and send a clear message to McCain, presumably from his alien masters. However, in all likelihood, this is probably the last we’ll ever hear about it.

Castro Burn In Hell is dead! Long Live Castro Burn In Hell!

So, we’ve started over. A new look, a new name, and a new server. Why the change? Why the hell not?!
Seriously though, the name change is something I’ve been considering since December, back before I completely lost interest. And the move to BlogSpot was done due to the fact that I’m sick of paying for this crap.
So what motivated me to come out of my self imposed exile, you ask? So many things have happened since January, Thompson dropping out, McCain getting the Republican Nomination, the Obama-Hillary slap fight, and yet none of that really seemed to motivate me. It was this line that got me out of my doldrums:

"We will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth."

Wow. I heard this line, and felt energized. This man is more full of himself than any Democrat I’ve ever heard of, and that’s saying something. Talk about believing your own hype! I bet he goes out to his backyard pool every night to see if he can walk on water yet. And the Obama Cargo Cultists just keep goading him on. How can I possibly sit this out? This is comic gold here!
Well, let’s just say it inspired me, so now I’m back, whether you like it or not. And I’ve brought most of the old stuff back with me. I’ve been able to recover just about everything from Castro Burn In Hell up to August 11, 2007. They’ve all been added to the archives, and I hope to have them more organized shortly. Not that anyone cares.
I’m expecting that this time out that, although we’re still a right wing political humor blog, we’re going to throw some other stuff in the mix as well, to keep it interesting. To me, anyway. In any case, welcome to Shotgun!!! When in doubt, take a shotgun to it!
Or something like that.