Friday, December 29, 2006

Haiku 4 U

Rope strains against flesh.
Saddam gets his just reward.
You want fries with that?

The body falls as
the lever springs the trap door
See your house from here?

The famous last words
of the man who would be God:
“Choke Choke Gurgle” die

Never it be said
that Saddam was not well hung.
Khomeini says Hi

The Kos Kids will whine.
The Dummies will crap their pants.
Who will lead them now?

Hunt For Red October,
bought for five bucks at Wal-Mart.
Gonna watch it now.

Ding Dong, The Witch Is Dead

The Arab Media is reporting that Sadam Hussein has been exectued.

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out, Saddam.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Hussein Family Reunion Scheduled For This Weekend

A glorious family reunion between Saddam Hussein and his sons Uday and Qusay has tentatively been scheduled in Hell for this weekend, sources report. Hussein, who will be traveling via the gallows, is expected to depart for the reunion by Sunday. No news yet on whether his departure will be televised, but the word is that, assuming that his neck isn’t broken instantly, the Vegas over/under on how long it will take him to die is 3 minutes, 14 seconds. I’m taking the under, but I’m hoping for the over.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

“More Dead In Iraq Than on 9/11, And What Has It Gotten Us?”

Between 45,000 and 50,000 dead scumbag terrorists, that’s what! That’s the word from this report by a Marine with boots on the ground in Iraq. I found this last paragraph most interesting:
“Morale among our guys is very high. They not only believe that they are winning, but that they are winning decisively. They are stunned and dismayed by what they see in the American press, whom they almost universally view as against them. The embedded reporters are despised and distrusted. They are inflicting casualties at a rate of 20-1 and then see shit like "Are we losing in Iraq" on TV and the print media.”
Damn reporters. General Sherman always said that reporters are worse than spies and that if he had them all shot, there’d be dispatches from Hell in the morning. Too bad we can’t test his theory.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I’m Gonna Give You Thirty Days To Burn In Hell

Saddam’s death sentence has been upheld by Iraq’s highest appeals court. He must be hung within thirty days. Now if Castro can just time his death to coincide with Saddam’s, this could be the biggest party ever!
Interestingly, one of Saddam’s lawyers has filed an appeal with the U.S. District Court in DC to have his execution overturned on humanitarian grounds. Forgive me if I’m confused, but exactly what jurisdiction does a US court have in Iraq? Does that mean if I get a traffic ticket that I don’t want to pay, I can appeal it to a court in Kazakhstan?
And the lawyer’s appeal may be thrown out on the grounds that he isn’t a member of the DC bar. As opposed to the fact that he’s a freakin’ moron? This sounds to me like one of two things: either some weird PR move by the lawyer, or an attempt to drum up support for Saddam among the truly brain-dead sector of the moonbat class (as opposed to the larger, mostly-brain dead sector).

Monday, December 25, 2006

Okay, I'm trying to read between the lines

According to Associated Press, the Bush administration has leaned too hard on countries to report what they are doing with the money that we give them. Apparently, people who spend the U.S.'s money can't be bothered with little things like keeping track of free money. I'm sure the UN is on their side. Perhaps giving money to poor countries and asking them to show progress is really just a racist plot. I think that the new congress should investigate this as a hate crime. After all, if a few warlords can't skim money without some busybody like Bush hanging around, what good is giving aid?

RIP James Brown

From Yahoo

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Miss Nevada USA loses shirt then title

In all fairness to her, she's not the first person to lose their shirt in Nevada, and she won't be the last. Now if I could just find the pics....

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Osama bin-Laden Captured In India!

No, not THAT bin-Laden. A rouge elephant that was named Laden by locals after the famed international mass-murdering terrorist thug. The elephant was responsible for fourteen deaths and had caused untold damage in the area. 'Laden was a terror for the people. Two earlier attempts to kill the elephant had failed as Laden always managed to evade our forest teams,' he added. 'The killing of the rampaging elephant has come as a big relief for the locals.

So A Volunteer Army Isn’t Fair?

World renowned super genius Matt Damon has come to the brilliant conclusion that an all volunteer army is not fair. "I don't think that it's fair as I said before, that it seems like we have a fighting class in our country that's comprised of people who have to go for either financial reasons or, I don't think that that is fair," said Damon, 36. "And if you're gonna send people to war ... then that needs to be shared by everybody, you know, and if the president has daughters who are of age then maybe they should go too."

So, let’s see if I have this straight: it’s not fair to send people to war who have chosen of their own free will to be soldiers, but it’s much more fair to draft, and thus force, a randomly selected group of people who may or may not be willing to go, just to satisfy your vision of what the make up of the armed forces should be? That fairness is in the demography of the group as opposed to the desires of the individuals in that group? And that the President’s daughters should be sent to war against their wishes because you don’t agree with their old man’s decision to go to war? By that rationale, shouldn’t you be punished for decisions your father made that I don't agree with? Like when he chose not to use birth control, for example?

Here’s a clue for you Matt: The soldiers in our modern day armed forces are in uniform because the chose to be there. They made this choice knowing full well the risks involved, and knowing full well that if our country went to war, they would be the tip of the spear. Many of them joined up AFTER we went to war, precisely BECAUSE we were going to war, and they wanted to do their part. They are not poor, ignorant, helpless dupes as you and you buddy John Kerry believe. And they are better people than you, or him, or I, will ever be. So STFU, dumbass.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Castro Near Death; Party Preparations Commencing

Noted dictator, mass-murderer, and all around scumbag Fidel Castro is preparing to meet his maker, Satan, after months of fighting an unspecified, but possibly Aids-like, illness. Many of our imaginary readers have written to me asking, “Rick, if Castro does die, what beer should I serve at the party? Would Corona be appropriate?” The answer to this question is NO! You must serve AMERICAN beer! This is an American holiday we’re talking about here. True, Castro is Cuban, and many, if not most, Cubans wish him dead. But most of those Cubans are over here anyway. The day of Castro’s death should be a Cuban-American holiday, just as Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican-American holiday, St. Patrick’s Day is an Irish-American holiday, and Gay Pride Day is a French-American holiday. If you must serve a non-American beer, Guinness is also acceptable.
But NO HEINEKEN! Heineken is a pussy/hippie/Euro-weenie beer, drunken by those who would mourn Castro’s death. We will not tolerate Euro-trash commie-lovers, and we will not tolerate their lousy Nazi beer!

Vegetarians Are Smarter. So Say Vegetarians.

A new study out indicates that vegetarians may average up to 5 points higher on IQ tests than non-vegetarians. The study tracked 8000 volunteers aged 10 who were given IQ tests. They were later interviewed at the age of 30 to determine how many of them became vegetarians. The study concluded that those kids who had a higher IQ score at age ten were more likely to become vegetarians than those who had a lower IQ, and were more likely to have college degrees. Uhhh-DUHHH-uhhhhhH! Where the hell do you think they discovered the vegetarian lifestyle? College, that’s where! The only thing this proves is that people who travel in high-brow circles are more likely to be exposed to, and become converted to, vegetarian principals than those who don’t. I think everyone with any sense at all understood this without having to be told by some high-falutin’ study.
The only interesting news out of this study is the fact that vegans – people who don’t eat any animal based foods whatsoever – averaged 5 points lower than average.All of this reminds me of a different kind of test related to these issues, in this case a blind taste test. Up until a few years ago, McDonald’s had the best tasting fries, and most everyone agreed about this, including vegetarians and vegans. I’ve known both vegetarians and vegans who loved McDonald’s fries. Granted, this is anecdotal, but stay with me here. McDonalds had the best fires, until it was revealed that one of the ingredients that McDonald’s added to their fries was natural beef flavorings. They were in fact sued for this by several Hindu families for not revealing this to the public. Cows are sacred to Hindus, and by eating McDonald’s fries, they had unintentionally violated one of the tenants of their religion. McDonald’s responded by removing these flavorings from their fries, and the flavor suffered. It’s now considered a truism that McDonald’s HAD the best fries. In other words, beef flavorings make fries taste good. Why? Because beef tastes good.
So let’s recap: vegetarians are smarter than meat-eaters, but meat-eaters are smarter than vegans. And all of them agree that beef is good. Even if they refuse to admit it. Or, to quote noted meat philosopher Dennis Leary, “Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct.”
So all you vegetarians and vegans out there, go ahead and have a burger, it’s on me. You can do it, because Dennis and I say you can.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Russian Roulette, American Style

So, Dick “The Turban” Durban is going to oversee detainee treatment, and Patrick Leahy is going to be overseeing the FBI. Here’s an idea: why don’t we just cut to the chase and elect Osama bin-Laden President? He can declare martial law, and force Shari’a law down our throats, and it’ll just be the same place the Democrats are trying to take us to anyway.
9/11/01 was supposed to be a wake up call to the threats that America faced. Looks like we hit the snooze button. Between the Dems in power trying to pretend it’s still 9/10/01, the moonbats yelling “Bush lied, kids died” to anyone who’ll stand still for three seconds, and the 9/11 conspiracy crowd claiming it’s all a government con job, it’s becoming obvious that we won’t really wake up to what’s going on until we get hit REALLY hard. It’s like we’re playing Russian Roulette or something. The only question is who is the gun going to be pointed at when it finally goes off? New York? D.C.? L.A.? Miami? Vegas? Oh, God, please don’t let it be Vegas.
For some reason, I just can’t get that old George Michael song “Praying For Time” out of my head. I wonder why.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Trivia Question

Q. How many members of the Iraq Study Group does it take to surrender to the Islamo-Fascists?

A. Apparently, all of them.

Barack Obama, Man Of Color

Barak Obama, not to be confused with Borat Sagdiyev, believes that people who will not vote for him because of the color of his skin are the same people who would probably not vote for him because of his politics. In other words, any one who’s racist must not belong to his political party, because we all know that Democrats can’t be racists. Therefore, anyone who’s racist must be a Republican.
Refresh my memory here, because I seem to be confused. Which party has a former clansman as a serving Senator? Which party refers to this former clansman as ‘The Conscience of the Senate?”
Here’s another question: am I really supposed to buy that Obama is black? You must be joking. First you tell me Michael Jackson is black, now it’s Barack Obama. Who’s it going to be next, Kathy Griffin?

Our Fearless Leaders

Representative Silvestre Reyes (D-Texas), recently appointed House Intelligence Chairman, seems to be having difficulty with the concept. When quizzed on his knowledge of terrorist organizations, he was unable to answer any questions about Hezbollah, and when asked whether al-Qaeda was a Sunni or Shiite organization, he answered “probably both.” They are Sunni only. He also identified Osama bin Laden as “the taxi driver who drove me here today”, and Hamas as “some sort of sandwich spread.”

The Holocaust Denial Kids Throw A Block Party

Why is it that the people who deny the Holocaust ever happened and the people who want to perpetrate a new one are always the same damn people? It’s like they’re saying, “The Holocaust never happened, but we’re working on it.”
So now we’ve got all the least stable people this side of Crispin Glover’s house meeting in Iran to discuss why the Holocaust never happened and how to remedy it: you’ve got your Mahmoud I’m-mad-in-the-head from Iran, you’ve got the so-called Jewish Rabbis of Neturei Karta, the prototypes for the “self-hating” Jew. You’ve even got your David Duke, KKK member extraordinaire, who al-Reuters is now describing as an “academic”, which makes sense I guess, considering how many anti-Semitic, anti-Israel clowns there are in academia nowadays. I guess if you can mistake one ex-KKK clown for a Senator, it’s pretty easy to mistake another for an academic. Personally, I would describe this whole conference as a target rich environment.

So Long, Jerk-Wad

Kofi Annan is no longer the Secretary General of The UN. At last! The evil, corrupt monster will finally be replaced with another evil, corrupt monster. Jules Crittenden has a great translation of his speech from BS to English. Best line in the piece (and one that sums the UN up to a tee) “Here's a sack of flour, dirty tragic dying person. Someone will be around to study your plight shortly.”

Monday, December 11, 2006

Is The Cat Out Of The Bag?

Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Olmert may or may not have admitted today that Israel has nuclear weapons. If this is the case, it would put an end to Israel’s decade’s long policy of nuclear ambiguity, which has kept both friend and foe alike guessing as to Israel’s full military capabilities. Why they would want to be ambiguous is obvious: keeping your enemies in the dark about what your capable of makes them reluctant to attack you for fear of biting off more than they can chew. The real question is: why would he end the policy? Here are several possibilities as to why Olmert may have made this revelation:

1. Olmert is an idiot.
There is precedent for this theory. Olmert’s handling of this summer’s engagement with Hamas in Lebanon was disastrous, despite an excellent showing in the opening stages of the conflict. In fact, the word on the street is that Olmert is an Israeli Bill Clinton, a publicity hound with more interest in his own political fortunes than in the fortunes of his own country.

2. Olmert is trying to scare the Iranians
In which case, see #1. This will do little to discourage the Iranians from developing nukes, as all indications are that the Iranians are prepared to use them regardless of what the consequences are for their own country. Revealing Israel’s true nuclear posture only gives Iran (and other Middle Eastern countries) an excuse to develop their own nukes: “The Israelis have them, so we need them to defend ourselves from the Zionist aggressors”. It’s a load of crap, but there are a lot of international organizations that are also full of crap and will buy into it for no other reason than it will piss off the US. Like the UN, for example.

3. Olmert is trying to rattle the European’s cage.
By revealing that Israel has nukes, Olmert may cause an arms race between Israel and other Middle Eastern countries that feel they need to have them. Or that just want them, and now have an excuse to get them. In other words, he is threatening to start a huge nuclear arms race amongst a bunch of crazy people who happen to be right in Europe’s back yard. He could be hoping to force Europe to become more engaged in the effort to stop Iran from acquiring nukes in the first place. This could work. It could also backfire spectacularly, giving the increasingly anti-Semitic European powers an opportunity to send the IAEA on a nuclear witch hunt all throughout Israel in order to appease their large population of Muslim immigrants.

4. Olmert is trying to rattle the US’s cage.
This is a very real possibility. With the Chamberlainesque Iraq Study Group (also known as the Iraq Surrender Group) attempting to throw our friends in Israel to the alligator in the hope that he’ll eat us last, Israel may be sending us a little reminder that they have the potential to mess up any plans that we might have for the middle East that don’t happen to include Israel’s survival as a key piece of the puzzle. The majority of the world’s oil comes from the ME. It wouldn’t do anyone much good if it was too radioactive for consumers to safely use.
Personally, I think this is a rare case where the answer may actually be appeasement. I believe that as a show of good faith with the Israelis, we should take James Baker, Lee Hamilton, and the rest of the Iraq Surrender Group, and lock them back up in the old folks home where they belong. Maybe then Israel could calm down and get on to the serious business of annihilating Hamas.It is worth noting that the Israeli government stated after Olmert’s comments that the Prime Minister had not made a misstatement, and that this did not signal a change of policy for the Israeli government. Which would seem to be a contradiction, wouldn’t it?

Friday, December 8, 2006

Christmas Cards

Have you sent out your Christmas cards yet? ‘Tis the season, you know. While you’re making out your list of people to send cards to, we here at Castro Burn In Hell would like to suggest a couple of recipients that are deserving of being added to your holiday list:

The American Civil Liberties Union:
The ACLU is a hard working organization that loves the Christmas season. They’re a very religious group, so make sure to send them a very religious themed card. Perhaps one with Jesus on it. I just know they would love to get a nice “Season’s Greetings” from all our readers. Their mailing address is:

125 Broad Street
18th Floor
New York, NY 10004

The Council on American-Islamic Relations
CAIR is another hard working organization that would love to be added to your holiday card list. One thing to keep in mind with CAIR though is that they aren’t Christians, so don’t send a Christmas card. Send a Hanukah card instead. In fact, you might want to send eight cards, each one timed to land on one of the “eight crazy nights” of Hanukah. I’m sure they would love to know you’re thinking of them this Hanukah season, and their mailing address is:

453 New Jersey Ave SE
Washington, DC 20003-4034

Jeane Kirkpatrick RIP

You have to admire any UN Ambassador who hated the UN as much as Jeane Kirkpatrick. A Ronald Reagan appointee and disciple, Kirkpatrick, who was the first female US Ambassador to the UN, passed away today at the age of 80. She will be sorely missed.

Thursday, December 7, 2006

Iraq Is Not Vietnam, But We’re Working On It

In January of 1973, then President Richard Nixon, after years of war and failed negotiations, brokered a peace treaty between North and South Vietnam. The south had won its right to exist as an independent nation. It would receive financial and military aid from the US, along with the promise of air support from the US Air Force in the event of a future attack by the north. The north would get an end to the highly effective bombing campaign waged against it over the past few months, and would now have the necessary breathing room to regroup and rearm in case circumstances changed, allowing them the opportunity to invade the south again in the near future.
They wouldn’t have to wait long.
The Democrats, who were dominated by the anti-war crowd, had complete control of congress. President Nixon, who had promised support to the government of South Vietnam, found his Presidency in a death spiral in the aftermath of the Watergate break-in and resulting scandal. With American willpower dwindling, and congress cutting the necessary funding for the south, the opportunity the north was looking appeared, no more than a year after the end of hostilities, and far sooner than they had expected. They took the opportunity, and invaded the south again.
As the NVA pushed further and further into the heart of the south, the government of South Vietnam begged our government for the promised help. Funding had been cut by congress and the equipment actually getting through simply wasn’t enough. President Nixon attempted to use the Air Force to bomb the north again, but congress intervened to stop him. Not much later, Nixon was forced to resign rather than face impeachment over Watergate, putting milquetoast Gerald Ford in the Oval Office. Ford issued a pardon for Nixon, enraging the Democrat congress, and losing any potential support he may have had for helping the South Vietnamese. The south was on its own.
As the NVA pushed closer and closer to Saigon, the capital of South Vietnam, and it became obvious that the south would soon fall, the US began making preparations to evacuate all remaining personnel from the country. As word of this spread, panic gripped the capital. It was understood that anyone who had opposed the north in any way would not survive for long once they had control over the south. Crowds of Vietnamese soldiers and citizens began clamoring at the gates of the US Embassy in Saigon, in the desperate, and futile, hope of being evacuated with the Americans. Very few made it out. On April 28th, 1975, the last Marine helicopter lifted off from the roof of the US Embassy. The footage of that event has been seen the world over. It is a stunning image of US weakness and lack of resolve, and the consequences of that weakness reverberated throughout Southeast Asia.
After Vietnam fell, several other countries in the region also fell to their own brand of homegrown communist insurgents. One of these countries was Cambodia, where Pol Pot and his Khmer Rouge, in an attempt to start Cambodian civilization over as a collectivist state, put nearly one third of the country’s population to the sword. The dominos were falling, just as the anti-communists had predicted they would.
Now, those who know me may be wondering why I’m bringing up these events in relation to Iraq. I’ve never been one to believe that Iraq-Vietnam parallels were particularly helpful, as the two situations are so radically different. I still maintain that this is the case. That doesn’t mean, however, that powerful forces in the media and the Democratic Party aren’t doing everything they can to make these analogies viable. Before the last election, the defeatists could be written off as marginalized throwbacks to a darker era. Now, the throwbacks have been thrown back into power, and, with the release of the Iraq Study Group’s final report, a repeat performance of the darkest chapter in American foreign relations may soon be upon us. This is not to suggest that the President will give in to the pressure to cut and run from Iraq, but, even if he stands firm on his principles, congress can still pull the rug from under him, just as they did to Nixon some thirty plus years ago.The President must stand firm against the forces of surrender, but, at the same time, we must stand in support of him. The American people must demonstrate to congress that we will not accept defeat or surrender. If we don’t, we may be watching that last helicopter leaving again, only this time it will be from our embassy in Iraq. And the consequences will be far worse: Our failure in Vietnam emboldened our enemy, the Soviet Union, into expanding into countries other than our own. If we fail in Iraq, our enemy will expand into our own country. Simply put, if we bring the troops home prematurely, the terrorists will follow.

Wednesday, December 6, 2006

Water On Mars?

NASA has released photos taken of the surface of Mars that indicate that liquid water may have flowed on the surface of the red planet as recently as five years ago. This has greatly bolstered efforts to continue the search for life on Mars, as the presence of liquid water is a precursor to the presence of life. Although there is no way to determine what form life might take if it is present on Mars, scientists have discovered, after careful, painstaking statistical analysis, that it would probably taste like chicken.

Monday, December 4, 2006

Why A Lunar Base?

NASA has announced it plans to have a fully staffed base on the moon by 2024. Many have asked “Why the moon?”

This is why the moon.

My Official Castro Burn In Hell Christmas Wish List

I want a copy of the Koran written in Esperanto and autographed by Mohammad.

I want a PA system in my car so that I can loudly and publicly criticize other drivers.

I want a stereo that can pick up signals from extra-terrestrials.

I want my very own Senator.

I want a T-1000 that’s programmed to protect me at all costs.

I want James Bond and Superman to both go back to the way they were before they became gay.

I want an apology from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for continually reminding me of Balki from “Perfect Strangers.”

I want a new season of “Futurama.” NOW!

I want a time machine so that I can go back in time and prevent Mayonnaise from ever being invented.

I want a written explanation why Nancy Grace and Greta Van Sustren have their own TV shows.

I want a 4 CPU Dual Core Xeon computer with 32 gigabytes of RAM, a 10 terabyte hard drive, a video card with 2 gigabytes of video memory, a 102 inch flat panel plasma monitor, a combination Blu-Ray/HD DVD+/-RW Dual Layer DVD burner, a wireless keyboard and mouse, and a 1.44 megabyte floppy drive, running Microsoft Windows 3.0 on top of DOS 3.3

I want a perfect condition 6.5mm Mannlicher-Carcano rifle autographed by John F. Kennedy and Lee Harvey Oswald.

I want a space based laser weapons system capable of vaporizing individual Democrats from orbit.

I want an iPod filled with every song William Shatner ever recorded, so that I can delete them all and replace them with anything else.

Lastly, I want a picture of Nancy Pelosi where she DOESN’T look like she just re-animated.
know I’m probably asking for a bit much with that last one, but what the hell, it’s Christmas.

Sunday, December 3, 2006

What's So Wrong With Beating Our Enemies By Out Spending Them?

We live in a time of increasing nuclear peril. One Muslim country, Pakistan, already has nukes. A second, Iran, who is much more antagonistic towards us, is developing them, along with the medium range missiles necessary to use them on Israel and Europe. North Korea probably already has them, and is working on long range ballistic missiles capable of hitting us. Of course, we can’t forget China, who has had primitive nukes and ICBMs for decades, but has only recently, through espionage, acquired systems in line with our own. We also can’t forget Russia: a dormant threat, but not an extinct one. Amidst these threats, the only real, credible hope we have of deterring or even stopping a nuclear missile attack on this country is with a working, fully operational, and fully deployed missile defense system. Yet, predictably, in this time of gathering storm clouds, it is the newly elected Democrat majority in congress that is threatening to take away our umbrella.
In the eighties, when a missile defense system was first proposed in earnest by the Reagan Administration under the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI), the two main arguments used against it were that it would be “de-stabilizing”, and that the technology necessary to get it working was a good twenty years out. Well, it’s been twenty plus years now. The stability issue seems to have faded, and the technology to get a basic, first generation system up and running is here. Launch sites have been set up in Alaska and California; indeed the system was even brought online in late June of this year with an eye towards possibly shooting down North Korea’s Taep’o-dong 2 missile if it was test launched against the protests of the entire world. It’s entirely possible that it would have succeeded in shooting down that missile when it was launched, had the target stayed airborne long enough for us to even try.
Much progress has been made, although there is still testing and tweaking to be done in order to make the system completely reliable. It is this necessary testing that is giving some long-time foes of missile defense their opening to attempt to cut funding for the program, with an eye toward eventually killing it. By using the “testing issue”, program opponents, led by Senator Carl Levin, can set an impossibly high standard for the system to live up to.
All of this is symptomatic of the Democrats continuing inability to understand a key fact in both life and war: The perfect is the enemy of the good. Yes, the system may not be perfect, and probably never will be. Yes, some of the interceptors may fail to hit their target. This is to be expected at this early stage of development. It is not yet a mature technology. It is, however, much cheaper than the alternative. An interceptor missile, even at this early stage of development, is far, far cheaper than the cost of the nuclear missile it is targeting. One interceptor launched at an ICBM may miss, but ten launched at the same target will not, and will still be less expensive than the nuke they destroy. If our enemies can build dozens of nukes a year, surely we can build hundreds or even thousands of interceptors per year to mach.
Some may consider this approach wasteful, but it is surely less wasteful than the alternative of allowing a nuclear missile launched by a foreign foe to vaporize one or more American cities. Senator Levin should be reminded that his constituents will not be amused to find one of their state’s major cities destroyed because he felt protecting it wasn’t worth the cost of a handful of interceptor missiles.
There is also the argument that a missile defense system will not protect us from the threat of a terrorist nuke smuggled across our boarders and detonated inside one of our cities without warning. This is very true, in much the same way that it’s true that the fire department won’t be able to help me if someone is trying to break into my house. Yet, I don’t hear any calls for disbanding the fire department on those grounds. If you’re trying to make breakfast, you don’t throw out the toaster for being unable to properly fry an egg.
None of these arguments successfully distract from the basic point that once an enemy ballistic missile is fired at you, the only two responses are either to shoot it down, or to take the hit like a man. I know which course of action I prefer, and when it comes right down to it, I think that given the choice, the majority of Americans would agree with me. It’s disturbing that this newly elected congress, who has expressed a desire to be taken seriously on matters of national security, seem to disagree.

Saturday, December 2, 2006

Bush To Announce "Orbital Battle Station"

The Bush Administration is planning to ask Congress for the funding to develop an orbital battle station to deal with the increasing nuclear threat from enemy countries such as Iran, North Korea, and France. The system would consist of several stations located in geo-synchronous orbit at strategic locations around the planet, capable of firing at and destroying ballistic missiles while they are still in the boost phase, the most vulnerable time for a missile. Unfortunately, we can expect much resistance toward this plan from the newly elected Democrat congress. “The only way I would agree to this”, stated Senator John Kerry (D-Nazichusettes), “would be if these stations were manned by our enemies and pointed directly at us. After all, as everyone knows, the US is the greatest threat to world peace. Building these stations for other countries instead of ourselves, thus keeping them out of the hands of our ignorant, uneducated soldiers, is the only way to level the playing field and insure true stability. I would also just like to point out that I know a great deal about this subject, having served in Vietnam.”