While in custody in Guantanamo, terrorist mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has revealed his secret formula for back hair growth. Working with top scientists from Helsinki, Khalid has developed a formula that promises a lusher, fuller swath of hair, not only on your back, but also your chest, legs, arms, ears, nose, crotch, and behind. So stop worrying about inferior coverage of your gorilla region. Call Khalid today for a free sample. After all, he’s not just the president of Hair Club for Terrorists, he’s also a member.