Bush To Announce "Orbital Battle Station"

The Bush Administration is planning to ask Congress for the funding to develop an orbital battle station to deal with the increasing nuclear threat from enemy countries such as Iran, North Korea, and France. The system would consist of several stations located in geo-synchronous orbit at strategic locations around the planet, capable of firing at and destroying ballistic missiles while they are still in the boost phase, the most vulnerable time for a missile. Unfortunately, we can expect much resistance toward this plan from the newly elected Democrat congress. “The only way I would agree to this”, stated Senator John Kerry (D-Nazichusettes), “would be if these stations were manned by our enemies and pointed directly at us. After all, as everyone knows, the US is the greatest threat to world peace. Building these stations for other countries instead of ourselves, thus keeping them out of the hands of our ignorant, uneducated soldiers, is the only way to level the playing field and insure true stability. I would also just like to point out that I know a great deal about this subject, having served in Vietnam.”