Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Can We At Least Still Walk And Chew Bubblegum At The Same Time?

Lawmakers in New York are working on a plan to make it illegal to use any electronic device while crossing the street in both New York City and Buffalo. Apparently, two pedestrians were killed while walking with mp3 players or something, so, New York being what it is (a liberal hell on Earth, basically), a political solution is required.
Why do we insist on dragging everything in life down to the lowest common denominator? I’ve used some sort of walkman type device while walking (in traffic, even) for over twenty years now, and I’ve never been hit by a car. Not once. You see, it’s all about having at least a tiny little nugget of common sense: “There are lots of big, heavy, fast moving objects all around me. Maybe I should pay them some attention, so as to make sure they don’t run into me.” But NOOOOOOOO!, apparently, that’s too difficult for some people. Like those morons you see in parking lots nowadays, who think that just because they have the right-a-way, that somehow makes them indestructible or something., so now they can walk directly behind a car that’s clearly backing up (it’s got it’s back-up lights on, and it’s moving backwards, what do YOU think?), and nothing bad will happen to them, so they don’t even need to pay attention.
We need to stop letting stupid people dictate the pace of civilization. I learned this hard fact back when I was seven, back when some stupid mongoloid kid accidentally swallowed and choked to death on one of the launching missiles on his older brother’s Mattel Battlestar Galactica Viper Fighter toy , and all of a sudden they passed a law requiring toys to be a sucky as possible. I hated that kid. I still hate that kid. And as I think about the two dead fools in New York who couldn’t look where they were going, and thus are going to ruin the fun of a whole bunch of other New Yorkers, I think to myself, “Thank God I live in California, where everyone is much more sensible.”

Er, wait…

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