Sparks were flying in the Republican ranks today, after Senator John McCain (R-Mirror Universe) accused former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld of being the “worst Secretary of Defense in US history.” This would put him below even Abraham Lincoln’s first Secretary of War Simon Cameron, of whom Lincoln said “The only thing he would not steal is a red hot stove.”
The White House denied this, and countered by pointing out that McCain is the least effective and engaging former prisoner of war since Sergeant Raymond Shaw in “The Manchurian Candidate,” and that perhaps McCain should “Pass the time by playing a little solitaire.”
McCain was later seen jumping into the East River, but was unavailable for comment.
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