France has fallen victim to swarms of giant hornets. No, I am not making this up. From the very first line of the article:
“Swarms of giant hornets renowned for their vicious stings and skill at massacring honeybees have settled in France.”
The article goes on to blame Global Warming™ for the infestation, but this is simply not the case. I am responsible for it. I have been praying for this for sometime now, and as such, Castro Burn In Hell hereby claims full responsibility for these attacks, which will continue without let up until the following demands are met:
1. All French women must immediately begin a routine of bathing, shaving, and brushing their teeth, as well as mouthwash and deodorant use.
2. All French males must immediately and thoroughly spray themselves down with industrial grade Lysol, and then shoot themselves in the head.
Until these demands are met, we will continue our hornet assault on the countryside of France, giving no quarter to any who stand in our way. Long live the capitalist revolution!
Note: Brittan is starting to get a little worried that these swarms will migrate north and infect their country. As well they should; THEY are starting to piss me off, too.