The Los Angeles Galaxy has completed phase one of its three phase process to make Soccer (also known as Metric Football) a popular sport in America. Their plan consists of the following phases:
Phase 1: Recruit the most popular and well known soccer player in the world, David Beckham, to play for their team.
Phase 2: ???????
Phase 3: Make Soccer a popular sport in America.
If you’re a little unclear on phase 2, that’s OK, so is everyone else. Some speculate that it may involve mass hypnosis, others think it may be a super-virus designed to turn all Americans gay, and still others think it may involve nuclear blackmail with a warhead smuggled into the US from the former Soviet Union by a little known local access cable TV host from Ventura County. Whatever the plan, you can be sure of one thing: It won’t work.