Thursday, November 16, 2006

Naval Vessel Imitates Namesake

Today the Seawolf class attack sub U.S.S. Jimmy Carter imitated the economic policies of it’s namesake by sinking beneath the waves. The Captain of the boat, who requested not to be identified, expressed deep regret that he had been placed in command of a vessel named for America’s most ex of ex-Presidents, and hoped that it would not be viewed as a blemish on his career, and that everyone should stop laughing at him.
In a related note, ex-ex-President Jimmy Carter, whose new book “Palestine: Peace Not Apartheid” is available in bargain racks and sanitary landfills everywhere, could be appointed to head the U.N. Commission for Blaming Israel for Basically Everything That’s Ever Gone Wrong Ever. We’re sure the anti-Semitic old fool will do a fantastic job in his new post.
In any event, here’s a great photo of President Carter in 1979 being attacked by a killer rabbit while fishing. The rabbit is in the lower right corner of the frame, swimming away from Carter after having bitten a large chunk out of his political future.

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