Me thinks the beard is a resuscitation device, designed by a secret Soviet Plot in the 50's that involves the white blood cells of a twice felled, re-animated John F. Kennedy. Details will emerge that the Satanic Visage of Castro can cause lesions on the body that provide insight into the secrets of Venereal Disease. This also, by the way explains the state of Cuba's economy (Poor) and Health Care system (top notch, especially in treating VD and other possible sexually transmitted mutations that Castro may have picked up from street prostitutes.
In other news, George Bush recently bent steel tracks with his bare hands while lancing a volcano. The trains run on time and the poor indigenous peoples of Ecuador, where the Volcano was erupting, celebrate his birthday as a national Holiday. Thus, it becomes on this day 8-28-2006 that “Neoconservative” in the native Ecuadorian tongue, will hereby translate into "superhero" or to some in the outlying areas, "God of many Compassionate Guns"
Will update as time permits. That is all for now.