Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Dennis Kucinich Escapes From Mental Institution

Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Zebulon B) escaped last night from the Florida Mental Instiution in which he had been "resting". "We aren't entirely sure how it happened," said Dr. Michael Stone, head of the Florida Institute for Psychiatric Research, "but he seems to have gnawed through his restraints, and escaped through a hole in the steel door to his "room". The door appeared to be melted, as if by a high powered laser."Kucinich is approximately 3' 6", about 95 pounds, with a light grey skin complexion, big black eyes, and may be wearing a hat made of aluminum foil. If anyone sees Congressman Kucinich, please contact your local authorities immediately. Make no attempt to approach or vote for him, as he is considered to be bat-shit crazy, and possibly contagious.

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