Iranian President and former Bronson Pinchot impersonator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced today that Iran was only seaking nuclear weapons for peaceful purposes. "We have no intention of using the weapons on the aggressor Israel." But Israeli Prime Minister Olmert disagrees. "I believe they will not hesitate to attempt an attack upon our country at their earliest opportunity," he stated in a press conference yesterday. "They will pay for their lies with death from above! They will pay for their crimes against Islam in the hell of the nuclear fire!" replied Ahmadinejad, quickly adding, "But not by our hand, of course, as Iran is a peaceful nation with only peaceful intentions."