Thursday, August 31, 2006

California Leads Fight Against ManBearPig

California took the lead today in U.S. efforts to fight ManBearPig, the creature that is claimed by failed Democratic Presidential hopeful Al Gore to be the greatest threat facing mankind today. California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger is hopeful that his state's efforts will prod a reluctant Federal Government to take additional action in this area. "What will we tell our grandchildren when they ask why we didn't stop ManBearPig while we had the chance?" the Governor asked in today's press conference. "Our inaction will create a world where all will live in terror, the terror of ManBearPig." Democrat Nancy Pelosi was quick to add "If ManBearPig were Muslim, this administration would spare no expense to bring him down."Administration response was swift and characteristically violent. Press Secretary Tony Snow stated, "With all the terrible things going on in the world, the war in Iraq, North Korea and Iran attempting to build nuclear weapons, terrorists trying to blow up passenger jets, and all these guys can get worried about is some theoretical future danger from a non-existant creature, made up by a madman in order to gather attention for himself so he can get beaten in '08 by some moron like John McCain." He then pulled a tire iron out from behind his podium and began savagely beating reporter Helen Thomas, who was too senile to really notice.

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