Thursday, September 7, 2006

Cindy Sheehan: Time-Travelin' Assassin

Deranged anti-war fungus Cindy Sheehan will be releasing her new book, "Peace Mom", on September 19th, sullying the official release date of the Battlestar Galactica Season 2.5 DVD box set. Revealed in her book: she has fantasized about going back in time and killing the infant George W. Bush, thereby preventing the Iraq War. The Secret Service so far has no comment. However, when asked about it at a press conference yesterday, President Bush replied, "That's an interesting idea. I wonder if that would really work. It'd be interesting to try that out, but of course, we can't, because as everyone knows, time travel is impossible.The government doesn't have any sort of time machine at it's disposal, and any suggestion to the contrary is just careless speculation."In an unrelated story, former White House Press Seceratry Scott McClellan competely ceased to exist this morning. All records of his existence have disappeared, and the local police department has shown no interest in investagating the matter. When contacted for comment, McClellan's parents replied, "Scott who?"

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