Thursday, September 7, 2006
Editorial: Why We Must Build a Bridge to the 21st Century
As the greatest living president that sprouted his presidency between two Bushes, Clinton's legacy is clear: build a bridge to the 21st Century! Sure, you might say, the 21st century is already here, and this bridge was just a metaphor to get him elected, but what better way to celebrate the accomplishments of the first President to get an Impeachment Hummer than an empty cry for action such as the one above? The Go-Go 90's have been replaced with the dim, bloody afterglow of an Al Queda buggering, but why let that stop us! Don't stop thinking about tomorrow! I have seen the future brother, and it is burgers, as in a tasty ones that will be served in the roadside shack next to the Whitewater Elephant that we will build with government money. My proposed boondoggle will be as high as the eye can see and surrounded by strip joints and ATM machines to replicate the legacy of government that he has left behind. I propose, right here, right now a two-billion dollar expansion that will come into effect immediately upon completion of the primary structure to ensure that the "bridge" to the 21st Century never achieves completion, much like his legacy. Come on, send in money now! I got the fever!