In presidential news, Hillary Clinton is reportedly mulling whether to run in 2008 again as the not-so-dark-horse Stepford Candidate. Apparently, she seems to be leaning toward concentrating her efforts on leading her party in the Senate. In similar news, I also am thinking of not running in 2008 because, well I will be concentrating my efforts on publishing hackneyed, snaky and only somewhat thought-out web posts.
As for good old Al Gore, he seems to be trying to get the bat shit crazy insane vote going --which as we all know holds a lot of sway in Democratic Party. He claims not to be running, but who knows if the world will call him into action? It is, after all, dying because of people who fly around the world burning fossil fuels to promote their movies...oops, wasn't supposed to say that part, was I? yet still, I can see him sitting around in his den, puffing on a pipe with nothing in it, gazing at all the humanitarian awards that his family got for pumping their Tobacco proceeds into good cases and speaking to the photos of his dead ancestors: “No, I tell you I am NOT running! I said it once and I’ll say it again….what? The World is DYING? I can’t let this thing pass! I must run!” Before ripping off his shirt to reveal a GORE 2008 T-shirt that he has been wearing under his suit ever since the night that the Supreme court bitch slapped him into irrelevancy. No less crazy are the Johns of the Democratic establishment, Kerry and Edwards, polling rather well in the most recent surveys. My guess is that at some point before the primaries, they will merge into one being, producing some mutant creature with Edwards’ hair, Kerry’s three-foot long face and Theresa's, ahem, "continental" accent, consuming Brill Cream and Pinot Noir at a heroic rate.
As for the Republican side, Mitt Romney seems to be making some headway in convincing people that he is suitable for the office. The effects of his Mormon beliefs on the electorate seems to be some kind of open question among pundits. No word on whether Democrats would have a problem with a Catholic President whom we all know would answer to a foreign power. In any case, it is too early to go into all the nuances, seeing as how its FRICKIN' 2006! My hope is to keep y'all updated every week until you are as sick of the Presidential Race starting this early as I am.